Dear Church Lady
My buddy and his wife introduced me to a beautiful woman earlier this year. We connected right
away and have been in sync ever since. Every date with her is an amazing experience. We have a
lot in common and the last six months have been awesome. I was thinking in another six months
or so I would ask her to move in with me. I really saw myself with this woman long-term until she
was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. It broke my heart when I found out and of course she
was devastated. I held her in my arms for hours while she cried hysterically. It was at that moment
I realized I couldn’t be with this woman. I know it sounds horrible but I know me and I don’t have
what it takes to be there for her with this type of illness. If she were my wife, I would have no
choice but we are just dating and I can’t see myself in this relationship for the long haul. It scares
me and I think I should get out now. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Dear Feeling Bad,
My heart is breaking for you and your situation. Illness has a way of making us want to run and hide
but people get sick and that’s a fact. While sickness affects all of us differently, it is a part of life. I
know you‘ve only been dating this woman for six months, but your story lets me know you do care a
great deal about her and was looking forward to a long-term relationship. Don’t throw it all away if
you truly love her. Unless you left out the part about being psychic, you can’t predict the future. Her
illness could do a 360 causing her to become a brand new woman and you will kick yourself by giving
up too quickly. I believe part of the reason divorce rates are so high is because we don’t know how to
wait on the miracles of love. We meet someone, fall in love and take off running at the first sign of
trouble. Use this situation as an opportunity to conquer your fear of illness. If you can’t be there for
her as a mate then be there for her as a friend. Stick around and wait for the miracle. It just might
make a great love story!
