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Dana Elaine Owens, better known as “Queen Latifah,” says she once relied on alcohol to cope with the tragedies in her life, but it was her faith in God that ultimately helped her through feelings of anger and sadness.

In an interview with Good Housekeeping magazine, the rapper turned actress shared how her “life was rocked to the core” when her brother, a police officer, was killed in a motorcycle accident not long after her career had taken off. Owens, who was raised Baptist, says her faith was particularly impacted by the loss.

“And I felt guilty,” she told the magazine, “because I was angry at God.”

After her brother’s death, Owens invested herself in her work. She was dealt another emotional blow in 1995, however, when she became the victim of a carjacking and a close friend, who was with her in the car at the time, was shot and nearly died in front of her.

She turned to alcohol for relief. In 1996, she was also arrested after being caught with marijuana and a handgun, which she had kept with her since the carjacking, in her vehicle. She later went through therapy, where she confronted the long-held secret that she had been molested by a babysitter when she was just five years old.

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