10 Legendary Rock Bands Who Went Out with a Right Stinker!
1. Queen – Made in Heaven (1995)
HEADLINE: “Freddie’s Farewell or Studio Séance?”
A moving tribute, sure but this one sounds like Queen holding a séance with a drum machine. Freddie’s voice still gives goosebumps, but the rest is stitched together from scraps and sentiment.
VERDICT: The heart says yes, the ears say nah.
2. Van Halen – A Different Kind of Truth (2012)
HEADLINE: “Diamond Dave Returns! Then Trips Over His Own Ego!”
The reunion no one asked for, but everyone hoped might work. Instead, we got reheated riffs, David Lee Roth talking instead of singing and Eddie sounding tired of the whole circus.
VERDICT: Different kind of truth? More like the harsh kind.
3. Aerosmith – Music from Another Dimension! (2012)
HEADLINE: “The Dimension Where Good Songs Don’t Exist!”
Steven Tyler croons like he’s auditioning for American Idol: The Movie. The album’s stuffed with power-ballad cheese and space-filler swagger. The exclamation mark in the title’s doing all the heavy lifting.
VERDICT: Send it back to whatever galaxy it came from.
4. The Who – Endless Wire (2006)
HEADLINE: “The Sound of Two Old Gents Trying to Remember the Chords!”
Part opera, part nap time. Pete Townshend’s still clever, but we wanted smashed guitars, not a concept album that sounds like a BBC Radio 4 drama.
VERDICT: Endless? It felt it.
5. Metallica – St. Anger (2003)
HEADLINE: “Lars’ Bin Lid Heard ‘Round the World!”
That snare drum, sweet mercy. It’s like someone’s beating a saucepan with a stick. No solos, no hooks, no fun just four millionaires shouting into a dustbin.
VERDICT: Anger, yes. Music, not so much.
6. Oasis – Dig Out Your Soul (2008)
HEADLINE: “The Last Stand of the Manc Gods and It’s a Bit Meh.”
The final hurrah before the inevitable fistfight. A few decent moments buried under layers of dull. You can hear the brothers mentally drafting their solo contracts.
VERDICT: Less swagger, more stagger.
7. Guns N’ Roses – Chinese Democracy (2008)
HEADLINE: “14 Years, 14 Million Dollars, 0 Soul.”
Axl spent over a decade perfecting this mess and it still sounds like he recorded it inside a robot factory. No Slash, no danger and no fun.
VERDICT: More like Chinese Delusion.
8. Black Sabbath – 13 (2013)
HEADLINE: “Old Gods Try to Summon the Devil and Accidentally Called Their Chiropractor.”
They tried to recapture the doom of ’70s Sabbath, but it ended up sounding like Sabbath cosplay. Ozzy’s still a legend, but this one plods more than it pounds.
VERDICT: Heavy, yes. Just not heavenly.
