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Actress Nia Long is tired of reading blog comments about her marriage status. The Hollywood starlet is jaded by the dopamine-fueled “whirlwind” relationships that often ends in divorce.

“Marriage is not a priority for me. I’m not saying I’ll never do it; It’s just not where we are as a family,” Long, 41, reveals in the August issue of Essence.

“I’ll be at home with my man, having a perfectly loving time, and I’ll see all these comments on some site about how wrong I am for not being married,” she says. “I don’t feel less loved or less loving because I’m not married.”

Admitting she has “never seen a marriage work,” Long is in a different place than most younger women who rely on their emotional “feelings” to dictate their relationships with men.

Long prides herself on reaching a level of maturity as she abandons the dopamine stage of her life.

I’m a lot calmer. Less clingy and demanding., said Long, adding that she doesn’t feel anxious about what her baby daddy, Ime Udoka, is doing when he leaves home for long stretches at a time.

“I took it as an opportunity to nest,” she explains.

Already mom to 10-year-old son Massai from a previous relationship, Long and Udoka are parents to 8-month-old Kez Sunday. “Motherhood is not easy, but it’s natural,” she says. “I worked hard to have the career I wanted, but I’ve also been deliberate about my personal life. None of this is a mistake.”

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Nia Long “I’ve Never Seen Marriage Work”  was originally published on

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